TIME Grows a Beard

     As we embark upon our adventures in Egypt and say goodbye to Morocco, so must the men from TIME – and maybe some of the women – embark on the journey that is No-Shave-November and say goodbye to their boyish good looks. Razors have been packed away like so many pumpkin decorations before them while peach fuzz and a lack of attention from most girls have taken their place. This month is more of a tribute to our heavily bearded professor and fearless leader, Ed Langerak, than an excuse for us look scrappy or scruffy. Beginning in Essaouira, Morocco at midnight on Halloween, continuing through the rest of Moroccan excursion - Marakech, Rabat and Casablanca - and now moving on to Egypt, No-Shave-November has taken the Middle East by storm. In order to involve those of you keeping score at home, the men from TIME figured it would be smart to give you all a play-by-play of facial hair growing patterns and predictions for the month. Now that we have over a week of growing under our belts, things are finally starting to get interesting. I'll be sure to add reference pictures to explain my lame jokes.

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     Let’s begin with Jon Laven. Hailing from Chanhassen, MN, John sports by far the most, the thickest, and the manliest facial hairs in the group. He can actually grow a beard, and he’s had one since we were in Turkey. His beard has awarded him several nicknames. Among them are ‘Grizzly Adams’, ‘Beardy’, ‘Ed Langerak Jr.’, and ‘Jesus’. The last nickname being the most relevant – it’s uncanny how much he looks like Jesus.

Jon, in all his glory

     Moving on to Nick Stang, we begin to see the unfortunate side of No-Shave-November. While Nick’s facial hairs are definitely noticeable, they reside only on his neck, chin and his upper lip. You might be thinking that his facial hair must be the most unfortunate part about Nick’s appearance and overall hygiene, but you’d be wrong – his feet smell really bad.

Nick has seen better days

      Josef Lorentz, or Yousef, as our new Middle Eastern friends call him, resembles what we’d all imagine a 13 year-old Robert Downey Jr. might look like. For some reason, his hair only comes in goatee-form, save the four hairs he has on the side of his face: three hairs on the left, one on the right. We’re nervous about the outcome.

Josef, hiding his shame

Robert Downey Jr.

      On the other hand, I have always wanted a beard. Always. But, due to a lack of courage and facial hair distribution, I have never tried. I always imagined I’d grow up to find a young Jerry Garcia looking back at me in the mirror, but I wound up staring at Andy Richter instead. Here’s to hoping I have a beard to come home with in December. Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.

Me, Connor, trying to pull off a blonde beard

Jerry Garcia

Andy Richter: Conan's sidekick, Connor's doppelganger

      Moving down the roster, Luke Peterson, the 6’ 8’’ Neanderthal whose long, luscious locks are barely tamed by a red headband – which appropriately matches his ginger-beard. Luke’s facial hairs are noticeable enough to resemble a beard; we’re all just worried he’ll find himself single after the month is over. Good luck, Katie.

Luker, headband and all

     And finally, the unsung hero of No-Shave-November, Luke Telander’s facial hairs remind us of our pubescent selves. We have yet to confirm their existence, but sometimes, and in the right light, we catch a glimpse. We’re all suspicious he’s shaving half the time, but thankfully, his razor is broken.

Luke T., what kind of face are you making?

      Ed Langerak hasn't had a clean shaven face since 1974. No-Shave-Adulthood. We're proud to know you, Ed, here's to many more years of facial hair growing.

Ed, our Fearless Leader

As we turn to the weeks ahead, Nick Stang and I have been making predictions of the triumphs and tragedies that the group will know by the time December 1st rolls around. Only TIME will tell.

• John Laven will shave his beard before the end of the month. Quitting, just like he did when the group fasted on last day of Ramadan. We all saw the muffin, Beardy.

• St. Olaf’s predominant Norwegian heritage will shine through. No one will look that good.

• Lois won't be able to stop complimenting the boys on the trip. Until we shave, we’re taking Ed’s beard’s place.

• Nick Stang will keep his “moustache” for the rest of his life. He really thinks that thing looks good.

• The women from TIME will eventually settle down with people who don’t have any facial hair. Both at the request of their future therapists, and to help fend off the nightmares we are creating.

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Until then,

Be good, be safe, be healthy, and be in touch,

Much Love,

Connor Johnson and Nick Stang

The Men from TIME watching the sunrise from the top of Mt. Sinai

Oh fer cute